So said my 26 year old son to me in an IM after he read this article I sent to him.
I responded that it should have made him angry and he agreed, "that too".
The commentary of the young men interviewed by the author is exactly what my 26 and 28 year old sons (and their friends) have been saying for years. They have been chased, cheated upon and stalked in equal measure. They are sick of the game playing, sick of trying to divine what the heck it is these "women" they meet want. They are sick of "used goods with excuses".
Their argument, in effect, was that the SYM is putting off traditional markers of adulthood--one wife, two kids, three bathrooms--not because he's immature but because he's angry. He's angry because he thinks that young women are dishonest, self-involved, slutty, manipulative, shallow, controlling, and gold-digging. He's angry because he thinks that the culture disses all things male. He's angry because he thinks that marriage these days is a raw deal for men.
Sadly, the remaining son, a 19 yr old self-proclaimed "stud" whole heartedly agrees with this aspect... at least in theory.
"We can have sex with as many women as we want and not have to worry about making any of them pregnant," one of my more upbeat respondents, an SYM named Curtis, writes. "Men are having more freedom and fun than ever before in all of history as a result of this, because if there's one thing every single man can agree upon, it's that having sex with as many women as possible is a great thing."
Unfortunately the other parents aren't doing their jobs. Young men today find it's hardly worth the trouble to weed through all the zircon to find that gem quality diamond and that the risks are too big.
I don't envy anyone of that age today.
Posted by: Ragnar Danneskjold on November 17, 2008 08:12 PMMore of the hedonisitc left, cheapening the culture.
The good news is that the demographics of their philosophy assures us that there will be less of them as time goes on.
Posted by: Jeff B. on November 18, 2008 02:16 PMMy daughter is a senior in high school. Her opinion of the boys she knows at school is "quite" low. She views most of them as lazy and disrespectful. It's common for them to refer to girls as "hos" and bitches (and this is in Woodinville, for crying out loud, not the inner city). They're not interested in dating a girl unless they think she'll put out. In short, just the kind of guy who would say, "We can have sex with as many women as we want and not have to worry about making any of them pregnant."
As far as she's concerned, anyone she might ever want to "get involved" with will have to prove they're disease free first.
This IS sad.
Posted by: Paula on November 19, 2008 10:20 PMAs a parent of two educated, employed young men in their 20's, I can say that the remarks of the SYMs in the article absolutely parallel those of my boys and their pals.
My 26 yr old in particular is disheartened. He's close to the age he wanted/hoped to marry and move on with his life. The 28 yr old has made sad noises that he is simply resigned to staying single.
They both have lines they won't cross. Our oldest will not even consider dating a single mom, and his brother concurs. We recently had a discussion in which he said that he wouldn't become involved with one who had an abortion, but that it might be impossible to know before becoming emotionally involved. One of them dated a girl he really liked.. but ended up breaking up with her because of horrendous things in her credit history that would eventually ruin his if he were to marry her.
Posted by: Ragnar Danneskjold on November 20, 2008 02:18 PM