Sound Politics: Record low temperatures reported in Hades

October 16, 2009

Record low temperatures reported in Hades

Seattle Times reporters just returned from a fact finding mission a few thousand miles below the Earth's surface and have confirmed that hell has, indeed, frozen over.

"I think it's super." said former Olympic champion Kristi Yamaguchi. "I can't wait to lace up my skates!"

Starbucks is planning to open 16 new stores, two on each of the first seven levels and one each on the last two.

"Come enjoy some smooth jazz and a double helping of kimchi," welcomed current mayor Ghengis Khan.

No word yet on whether cash for clunker dollars are valid in Hell but President Obama did say that Brimstone Industries, the company that provides energy to Hell, will be allowed to participate in the Cap & Trade program.

In other news, the Seattle Times endorsed Susan Hutchison.

Posted by MarkGriswold at October 16, 2009 03:01 PM | Email This

Comments

1. Now this is GREAT news.
No, no, no, EXCELLENT news!!!

Posted by: Buffy on October 16, 2009 03:27 PM

2. Now this is GREAT news.
No, no, no, EXCELLENT news!!!

Posted by: Buffy on October 16, 2009 03:28 PM

3. The Times always endorses the conservative candidate, so this is hardly a surprise. They also endorsed Dino Rossi, and you can see how much good that did. It won't make a difference.

Posted by: supersonic on October 16, 2009 03:33 PM

4. OK - I laughed.

LOL

Posted by: LOL on October 16, 2009 03:38 PM

5. They endorsed Rossi and Bush in 2004. You must not study the Times very much, Mark. They're a conservative newspaper compared to Seattle's values.

Posted by: John Jensen on October 16, 2009 05:28 PM

6. It's bitch, bitch, bitch about the liberal Seattle Times, then they endorse a conservative and all we hear is bitch, bitch, bitch about the liberal Seattle Times. What's that saying about gift horses? Ingrate.

Posted by: Quincy on October 16, 2009 06:11 PM

7. Well GOOD on the Times! when they do well, I give them kudos.

Posted by: Michele on October 16, 2009 06:35 PM

8. They're a conservative newspaper compared to Seattle's values.

Well, there's saying alot, John. Seattle has very little values of, well, value...unless of course you count the ones inherited from the bathouses on Capitol Hill (McDermott country).

Posted by: Rick D. on October 16, 2009 07:30 PM

9. John Jensen does have a point. Seattle keeps electing Baghdad Jim, what is it 8 times already? Obv the Times are conservative.

Posted by: Crusader on October 16, 2009 10:43 PM

10. Jensen says, "They're a conservative newspaper compared to Seattle's values."

Perhaps Mr.Jensen you might give us all a little synopsis of what you believe "Seattle values" consist of.

Is it encouraging killing unborn children? Is it letting rapists and murderers out of prison? Is it openly promoting a homosexual lifestyle.

Are those "values"?

Posted by: Bill Cruchon on October 17, 2009 04:23 PM

11. Bill - I think the point is that Seattle is very "progressive". Now we can agree to disagree on women's reproductive rights, but we can agree that Seattle is soft on crime.

Posted by: Crusader on October 18, 2009 02:15 PM

12. I see Ruth Gibbs is against both candidates because they denouced the republican party. This leads me to believe I might have prejudged Hutchison. Anyone that denoucnes the local GOP is worth considering in my book. Gibbs has been consistantly a pro GOP far more than she is pro small government. When the two collide she always responds with keeping her power in the GOP and keeping the GOP away from small government agendas.

So I apologize to Hutchison. I will look a little closer and see if whether I might decide to vote. I am still hesitant because I can not get one person to tell me ONE single thing she would cut.

Posted by: Lysander on October 18, 2009 04:49 PM

13. Seattle has very little values of, well, value...unless of course you count the ones inherited from the bathouses on Capitol Hill

Rick D, you're a piece of shit.

Posted by: John Jensen on October 22, 2009 02:33 PM