Some people believe the job of our cable news talk show hosts is to help uncover government conspiracies. Perhaps this is the perfect cover for being a member of one of the most powerful conspiracies in history.
The evidence is undeniable.
DoBBs. OlbermaNN. O'ReiLLy. HaNNity. MaTThews. MaDDow. HuckabEE.
Anything stick out for you there?
CNN also has CampbeLL Brown, LaRRy King, and Anderson COOper. And on Fox News there's also GleNN Beck, Bill HeMMer and Megyn KeLLy, Chris WaLLace, Steve DOOcy, and black-haired-guy-who-is-not-Steve-DOOcy.
You wondered why Fox got rid of Alan Colmes? It had nothing to do with ratings or political views. This also explains why BiLL O'ReiLLy has twice the popularity of any of his colleagues.
Comedians pretending to be real talk show hosts -- like Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and David Shuster -- don't follow the sinister pattern and are obviously not a part of the conspiracy. These noble funnymen may be our only hope at salvation.
Cross-posted on <pudge/*>.
Posted by pudge at April 01, 2009 12:03 AM | Email ThisHow can they help it if one side is a lot funnier almost all of the time?
Posted by: School Marm on April 1, 2009 01:42 AMI do believe you are on to something here.
But you forgot to mention our primary source of truth and light, the nobel commedian Rush LiMMbaugh.
Posted by: Unkl Witz on April 1, 2009 06:14 AMMaybe someone else will spell it out to you, I haven't the energy.
Posted by: pudge on April 1, 2009 07:24 AMAnother knee-slapper! Who says conservatives have no sense of humor.
Hey Mike: Howcum the conservative walks around with his head up his rump?
So he won't have to deal with all those "liberal biased" facts.
You need to either:
Go to one of his town meetings, get yourself chosen to ask a question, then tell him you need a new car. He'll have his staff get back to you,
or; get a Toyota.
Posted by: Unkl Witz on April 1, 2009 01:58 PMAll my cars are japanese.
Posted by: Michele on April 1, 2009 02:41 PMWhenever I interrupt a liberal's anti-Limbaugh rant to point out that the ranter has never actually listened to the man, he always says the same thing: "I've heard him!"
On further questioning, it always turns out that by "heard him," he means he's heard the selected excerpts spoon-fed him by the distortion-mongers of the mainstream media. These excerpts are specifically designed to accomplish one thing: to make sure you never actually listen to Limbaugh's show, never actually give him a fair chance to speak his piece to you directly.
By lifting some typically Rushian piece of outrageous hilarity completely out of context, the distortion gang knows full well it can get you to widen your eyes and open your mouth in the universal sign of Liberal Outrage. Your scrawny chest swelling with a warm sense of completely unearned righteousness, you will turn to your second spouse and say, "I'm not a liberal, I'm a moderate, and I'm tolerant of a wide range of differing views -- but this goes too far!"
Which leads to a question: Why not? I mean, come on, the guy's one of the figures of the age. Aren't you even curious? I listen to all your guys: NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, The Times, the New York Times, the New Yorker -- I check out the whole left-wing hallelujah chorus. Why are you afraid to spend a couple of hours listening to Limbaugh's show and seriously considering if and why you disagree with him?
Let me guess at your answer. You don't need to listen to him. You've heard enough to know he's a) racist, b) hateful, c) stupid, d) merely an outrageous entertainer not to be taken seriously or e) all of the above.
Now let me tell you the real answer: You're a lowdown, yellow-bellied, lily-livered intellectual coward. You're terrified of finding out he makes more sense than you do.
There's only one April FOOL here and it's not Limbaugh.
Oh!... And Happy Atheism Day:
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY
In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'
Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."
Actually I listen to him quite a lot, and have for many, many years. I spend a lot of time in my car for work, so I listen to the radio. Before 9 am, I flip back and forth between Kirby (KVI) and NPR's Morning Edition, depending on who has the more interesting topic. At 9, I catch the news on KUOW, then at 9:06, I flip to KTTH for Rush's opener. I love the way he just starts talking like he's in the middle of a conversation with Snerdly, then says "greetings" to all his listeners "across the fruited plain." I cut back to KUOW for his "obscene profit break" at about 9:17, then back for the short segment til the bottom of the hour. Same for the 10 o'clock hour.
At 11, I almost always switch back to KUOW for Warren Alney's "To the Point". Then at noon it's a tag team between Michael Medved (KVI) & Sean Hannity (KTTH). I've even started listening to Laura Ingraham after three til "All Things Considered" comes on at four.
So I'd say I'm pretty much up to speed on the "Limbaugh Challenge." How 'bout you? Ever bother to listen to anyone from the other side?
By the way, do you ever write any of your own stuff, or just cut and paste everyone else's?
ps: Your balanced "itinerary" fails to impress ... especially when 4 of your 7 posts are insulting to half the shows you purport to listen to. I wonder, did/do you get as nasty about the ugly things that jerk Al Franken had to say or perhaps the bile regularly spewed by that icon of sweetness and love, Janeane Garofalo?
I thought not.
Posted by: Ragnar Danneskjold on April 1, 2009 09:31 PMSorry your nimble, but not too broad minded brain cannot comprehend the notion that some folks are willing to listen to radio shows they find entertaining, but patently absurd.
I've been listening to this crap for years. Before political talk radio, I tuned in to folks like Peter Popoff, who not only told us of the evils of liberal thinking, but how to pray, and what to pray for. And Garner Ted Armstrong, who was more than happy to dabble about the edges of political propaganda. I am particularly entertained by bible thumpers.
As you get older and more mature Rags, you'll begin to realize your Ayn Rand fantasies don't have any connection to the real world.
April's Fools
by Jed Lewison
Wed Apr 01, 2009 at 06:38:04 PM PDT
The GOP's newest attack on President Obama's budget has run into a small problem: the numbers upon which they based their attack were from an analysis of the last budget submitted by President Bush -- before last November's election.
Nonetheless, the budget projections offered by Republicans blamed the Bush era numbers on Obama, labeling the data "Obama FY2010 budget."
In other words, the GOP identified a sack of manure filled by President Bush and placed President Obama's name on it.
In that same spirit, here's a list of some other things they should blame on the current administration:
President Obama's invasion of Iraq.
President Obama's strategy of cutting taxes on the wealthy while raising spending, mostly on military contractors.
President Obama's "drill, baby, drill" energy policy.
President Obama's refusal to invest in the nation's infrastructure.
And last, but not least, President Obama's refusal to do anything to curb the inaccessibly high cost of health care.
Actually, while they're at it, maybe they can blame President Obama for sending them off into the political wilderness. About that, at least they'd be right.
Eight In Ten Americans Agree ...
by BarbinMD
Wed Apr 01, 2009 at 06:02:04 PM PDT
Somehow, this must be bad news for Obama:
As Barack Obama takes off for his first overseas trip as president, a new national poll indicates that more than eight in ten Americans think he will do a good job representing the U.S. to the world.
And seven in ten people questioned in the CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey, released Tuesday, believe that leaders of other countries respect Obama.
That last figure is in sharp contrast with George W. Bush. At the start of his presidency in 2001, only 49 percent believed that foreign leaders respected Bush.
Posted by: Unkl Witz on April 1, 2009 10:55 PMBut the reality is: Conservatives do exactly the same thing. They only listen to their cherished pundits and tune out any alternative voices.
Why?
"Now let me tell you the real answer: You're a lowdown, yellow-bellied, lily-livered intellectual coward. You're terrified of finding out he makes more sense than you do."
I look forward to your reply.
Of course, the sneaky MSNBC has promptly started a new conspiracy, which was announced last night. This one involves former sportscasters born on Jan. 27th. In addition to Olbermann, the have now added Ed Shultz to the line up. They were onto your conspiracy sleuthing and decided to throw a knuckleball at you.
Cheers!
Posted by: tc on April 2, 2009 04:59 PMThe rest of us think that's idiotic.