July 21, 2008
Speaking of light bulb jokes
Q: "How many Washington state employees does it take to change a light bulb?"
Answer 1: "31% more than it took 4 years ago."
Answer 2: "256. No, make that 42. I mean 129. Or maybe it's 133. I have no idea. But who's counting?"
Answer 3: "$765,000. Not including the L&I inspectors and the Spanish translator."
Answer 4: "That information is attorney-client work product and exempt from public disclosure."
Answer 5: "Are you kidding me? That light bulb burned out 7 years ago and Christine Gregoire is still studying the problem!"
Add your own in the comments
Posted by Stefan Sharkansky at July 21, 2008
08:31 AM | Email This
1. $250,000, but keep the $140,000,000.
2. This fits in well with the clown of the day theme. :)
3. How can they tell?......The place is full of dim bulbs.
4. Sorry, changing lightbulbs is not in the union contract.
5. If we Chuck Norris was here, he wouldn't be allowed to do it for fear of inciting Al Qaeda and then creating the need for an immediate troop "redeployment" plan from Washington State to some unknown or unthought of location.
6. None. The mean conservatives and the BIAW passed an initiative that forced us to be more realistic about our budget. So we spent the funds for the light bulbs on Gregoire's election campaign instead.
7. We have to pass an emergency tax increase in order to create a plan. The plan will probably include a toll at the door to fund the replacement.
8. None. Queen Christine declares darkness the new standard.
9. Light blubs aside, the productivity of the Washington government labor forces must be in sharp decline. Residing in the home of Microsoft is expecially ironic. But it' not about anything other than creating an ever growing number of permanent votes for the party of government, the dems.
10. We must first do a $2 million study on the politically correct light bulb du jour to use AND get it approved by Algore.
Them little squiggly ones the Lunatic Moonbats were so excited about have mercury in 'em and are polluting our landfills.
11. Depends, was the burned out bulb a CFC? If so, hax-mat and the Department of Ecology will need to be called in.
12. How many progressive bloggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None.
They'd rather sit with the lights off bitching about how dark it is.
(To be fair, I first heard a variant of that on Almost Live describing Charlie Chong for Mayor supporters)
13. Sorry, Klingons... don't care.
"Graduated income tax" is leftist babble code speak for "stealing more taxpayer dollars."
None. She complained about it for years, lied about raising our taxes, told us that millions would die when the bulb fell down... and then did absolutely nothing about it.
14. We're still waiting for the funds from the tax passed 5 years ago for replacing burned out light bulbs to be allocated. Then there's the study to figure out which department has the authority to replace the bulb. Then the bid to be placed for the contractors to....
15. Incredible stretch to even assume we care. :)
16. Sorry, due to I-695 we can no longer afford lightbulbs. Now hurry up and pay your taxes so we can fund our next public art projects...
17. How many? Governor Christine has appointed a bi-partisan five-corner blue ribbon commission to give her answers within two years that she will promptly ignore and remain in the dark.
18. It must take 6100. Thats how many the queen has hired so far.
19. None. Changing light bulbs is a job that no Americans are willing to do. It's why we must provide health and welfare benefits to undocumented workers in this state so that our bulbs can be changed.
None. The question we need to ask is why do we need to change the bulb? It's Bush/Cheney/Rove and their ties to Big Bulbs and Hallibulbton that should be investigated!
20. Don't know how many it takes to change one, but certainly it seems with all the State employees and $funding so dedicated to education, it seems they can't get many to light. Whaaas up with that! :)
21. We need an opinion poll vote first, and although this is a state lightbulb, only Seattle can vote on it:
1. Do you support replacing the light bulb with another light bulb?
2. Do you support replacing the light bulb with a new and improved lighting system, including an entirely new lighting receptacle, new wiring, night vision, and solar power?
Based on the results of this opinion poll, absolutely no decision will be made, but the lightbulb will be destroyed in 2012.
22. A: "Well, it really doesn't matter how many state employees it takes to change the lightbulb, so long as we get union dues from all of them."
23. 361; They draft and finalize regulations and turn them into WAC's that force cities to change the lightbulb that in turn write municipal codes that force citizens to change the light bulb with money from their own pocket after they had paid all the tax money to pay 3 state employees to oringinally do it in the 1970's. If they don't change the light bulb they send 28 inspectors and code enforcers and upity prosecutors after them for light bulb replacement sustainability non-compliance.
Now you wonder why you can't get to work...you were supposed to widen the road yourself, idiot, after paying all the money into this WSDOT blackhole!
Elections have consequences.
24. 'informed progressive' ? Isn't that an oxymoron? Progressives don't need facts, so therefore aren't required to be informed.
25. 'informed progressive' ? Isn't that an oxymoron? Progressives don't need facts, so therefore aren't required to be informed.
26. None, at the present time plans are in progress to buy 5 new $1,000,000 self changing light bulbs.
27. Speaking of dim bulbs. I just had a CFL die. It just went pop and was out. It just so happens that I started writing the date of installation on each bulb. I put this one in service on 3-23-08. Because my eyesight is not what it once was I find that it takes a 26W CFL to get the same illumination as a 75W incandescent bulb. Somehow I suspect that the despite the politics the economics favor the incandescent.
28. Palouse, since the ballot will be designed by democrats, you forgot the other three options:
3. All of the above
4. None of the above
5. One of the above
29. Nothin' but dim bulbs here, I see! Way to beat this metaphor to death, Stefan... it's a wonder that you think of Republicans as the "funny" ones.
30. @29.
Truth hurts. So just say that by your own decree, the metaphor has been beaten to death. I'm calling Cantwell and Murray. There ought to be a Metaphor Fairness Doctrine to prevent conservatives from making political metaphors or carrying them on too long.
31. "Nothin' but dim bulbs here," said the dimmest bulb on our little tree.
32. Har Dee Har Har.
Blame it on the front line like good Wepubwicanth.
33. 26. Actually they are going to have to wait until all of their self flushing million dollar outhouses sell on Ebay (think I'm kidding check this out) Starting bid is $89,000 :
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/17/us/17toilets.html?_r=1&hp=&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1216303601-cGTJna5GvKNgZ5ONhfT18g
Those proceeds might be able to fund one dimbulb change.
34. The voters wanted to change the lightbulb but the legislature over-road their will
35. @30:
There ought to be a Metaphor Fairness Doctrine to prevent conservatives from making political metaphors or carrying them on too long.
No... but patting yourself on the back for being so funny? Not really that warranted. You all sound more like a bunch of nine-year-olds than anything else.
36. So, are we to assume by your last statement that you enjoy conversing with 'nine-year-olds'? Come on dk you're bright and articulate you can do better than insults and slams on folks in a blog you choose to participate in. :)
37. Nothin' but dim bulbs here glad to see you've included yourself.
38. Kudos, Duffman. Your comment embodies the spirit of what debate should strive to be about on this blog.
39. @36: Maybe I just have higher expectations? :)
Seriously... bring your A-game, Duffman! Convincing conservatives here about your point of view is easy, but a good joke can make your message come across to a much wider audience. Heck, if you can get a liberal like me to laugh with a good partisan line, you've won the day!
40. "You all sound more like a bunch of nine-year-olds than anything else."
Projecting again are we, Demo Skid?
41. How many does it take to change a lightbulb? Well that depends on the bulb. Does the manufacturer offer a savings to the people of the state or a huge kickback to the state democratic party that can be funneled to CG's campaign.
She'll let you know right after the timely release of her opinion on the viaduct.
42. I assume they would change light bulbs the same way they repair roads around here. Here's how it would be done:
1. 50% of the time the bulb would be perfectly OK but for some unfathomable reason it is to be changed.
2. The entire light pole is brought down, disassembled and laid across most of the sidewalk restricting traffic to just a trickle.
3. The light pole stays like that for 10 months. You see "workers" apparently doing something to it but nothing ever gets done.
4. Finally 10 1/2 months latter the pole is raised. It is not straight, the bulb is dimmer and for the cost you could have bought a solid gold lamp pole.
43. The answer: the same number as previously, only now the additional people mean they are able to change more light bulbs.
44. Bill K. you forgot to mention...
5. Workers would be instructed to "plant" signs around the state informing us that they are working hard to replace that lightbulb.
45. We must consider the light bulb...it has feelings too...maybe it do not want to be changed.
46. The Queen and the Pork Chopp will raise the light bulb changing tax 31% then direct the design of a massive Rube Goldberg bulb replacing machine. The machine then exceededs the limit of the available tax and then declaring the only way to change the bulb is to tear it down and replace it with a candle is then decreed.
47. "However many it takes, we'll probably have to raise the gas tax again to do it."
48. none--bulbs now can only be legally lit in casinos;
don't know--did they ever change the bulbs in those fancy public toilets?
as many as possible--IF--it's for the children; and---it can only be changed on a "teacher resource day" off
49. It takes 500.
1 union worker to change it, a safety man to watch him, a supervisor to watch them both and 497 more to install the art work to enhance the area around the light bulb at a cost of just over $10 million.
50. 49 You forgot the environmental impact study, which seems to have been overlooked in the CFL roll-out, and the Supreme Court challenge which Ron Sims will surely require to assure you put no more than one per acre.
51. KIRO's Dave Ross, dross@bonneville, is celebrating 30 years by luring listeners to Abba's Mama Mia! ... explanation point not optional.
Here's the Jayson Blair Times take on how bad! it is: " ... (H)ow bad it is. ... defending yourself against this mindless, hedonistic assault on coherence ... compost Styrofoam ... those lyrics in a language uncannily like English ... something alarmingly permanent, a marshmallow monument on the cultural landscape."
Of course that could also be a JBT take on the Dave Ross Show.
Meanwhile, Gold*tein's H*rses*ss runs a cropped & doctored photo of Rossi & Ross. It's the kind of dirty trick for which libs still! kick the corpse of Tailgunner Joe McCarthy. Tailgunner Goldy's the son old Joe never had.
52. A: "All depends. If they live in downtown Seattle, it takes one and we'll do it immediately. If you live anywhere on the eastside, then never.
Get a clue people - we're going to keep squeezing until you buy a multi-million dollar condo in bell town."
53. Let's hope this light bulb problem doesn't hinder the tremendous progress state workers are making on traffic congestion relief and keeping our ferries afloat. Oh, wait. What progress?
54. We've been spending way too much money on changing light bulbs. We need to vote on an initiative to make the changing of a light bulb one flat rate and eliminate the taxes imposed in changing the light bulb. And voters must approve any rise in costs in the changing of the light bulb.
Alas, because the State SC knows voters are dumb, they rule the initiative unconstitutinoal. But, in a minor victory, the fee for changing the light bulb is lowered.
Seattle then imposes an extra "tax" on people buying energy inefficient light bulbs, light bulbs that come in cardboard packaging. The city will make available light bulb carrying containers that are reusable and environmentally friendly.
At the risk of being fined, the city will require business to purchase recyling bins for lightbulbs.
In a final show of support for the new life bulb initiative, Mayor Nichols has committed to installing runway landing lights to direct his entourage to the mayors office building. He will also ensure the mayors office will be oufitted wit CFL's so as to reduct the frequency changng bulbs, despite their mercury content
55. How many hazmat hit squads does it take to change from light bulbs to compact mercury fluorescents?
56. complicated answer; takes 1 to a village---
the bulb emits white light; to acheive a racial tie-breaker in schools, it must be bussed by itself to an alternate location (CO2 & green footprint be damned) and installed to acheive "desired bulb light enrollment diversity" quotas; then, we monitor it (with a staff) to see if the results are within desired parameters;
meanwhile, the bulb dims for lack of actual want of basic learning to shine & what comes naturally to it; poor thing--it is now disposed in a hazmat-safe passing system & life of mediocre bulbs; among them, it shines; among accepted national and international testing standards and the workforce, it's deficient; but--it feels good and has self-esteem; 3 cheers for the WA system!