"A Few Words in Defense of Our Liberals" is a combination parody/response to Randy Newman's song, "A Few Words in Defense of Our Country," performed at the keynote for Macworld Expo 2008. You can hear his original version if you like.
Lyrics:
I'd like to say a few words
In defense of our liberals
Our liberals ain't bad, nor are they mean
The liberal leaders they have
While they are pretty bad
Are hardly the worst this poor world has seen
Let's turn history's pages, shall we?
Take Mao, for example
Why, within the first few years of him
He had criminalized free speech
Ruled from the side of his Forbidden City swimming pool
And presided over the executions of millions of people
A few years later
He outlawed private food production, and millions more died
That's like, single-payer agriculture, or something
That's not a very good example right now, is it?
But here's one
The Eastern European Soviet occupation
Put people in a terrible position
I don't even like to think about it
Well, sometimes I like to think about it
Just a few words in defense of our liberals
Whose time at the top
Could be coming to an end
Now we don't want their love
And respect for their views is out of the question
But in times like these
We sure could use a friend
Hitler
Stalin
Liberals who need no introduction
Fidel Castro, that's right
Liberals think he's so great
Well he took control of Cuba
He jailed and killed thousands of people
Just for speaking their mind
Or being suspected of having one
But hey man, now Cubans are equal
And desperate
A president once said,
"A man has a property in his opinions"
Now you are required to agree to give your property to someone else
It's patriotic in fact, and compassionate
And if you don't play along?
There's the government men with the guns
That's what the Second Amendment is for, isn't it?
That's what it used to be for
The end of socialism is messy at best
And this plunderous state is ending
Like all the rest
Like French automobiles, engulfed on the streets
We're engulfed in the land of the brave
And the home of the free
1. Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.
2. Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.
Saying that Mao, Stalin, and Hitler are liberals is almost as ridiculous as saying that you're as talented as Willie Nelson.
Posted by: thehim on January 17, 2008 01:15 PM...and he probably pays HIS taxes!
Posted by: HillBill on January 17, 2008 01:22 PMThird, it implies that liberals are anti-authoritarian, which we all know is nonsense. I was just reading Barack Obama's Blueprint for Change. It's a Blueprint for Authoritarianism. More government control over pretty much everything in our lives. It defines authoritarianism. Everything in there is something he wants government to control, to force us all to comply with.
Authoritarianism has nothing to do with modern liberal vs. conservative, whatsoever. It is on a completely different axis. We have authoritarians like Hillary and Obama and Kucinich, and we also have ... well, they are harder to find, but they are out there. The right is marked far more by an absence of authoritarianism than the left, as shown with conservatives like Fred Thompson and Ron Paul.
Anyway, back to the song, in modern American usage, we generally say that the further left you are, the more liberal you are; the further right, the more conservative. Using that metric, Hitler, Mao, and Stalin are all, to varying degrees, extremely liberal.
But hey, if you'd rather call yourself a socialist, that works too.
Most importantly, however: no matter HOW you slice it, my comparisons are no worse than Randy Newman's, which is, of course, the point I am making.
And at least I didn't say something racist, like both Randy Newman and blathering michael did. Liberals are tolerant and unbigoted, yeah right, pull the other one.
Posted by: pudge on January 17, 2008 01:34 PMI shouldn't have lumped you with Newman though. He said in his version of the song that Clarence Thomas isn't a "brother" anymore because he is conservative. If a Republican had sung something similar, their career would be over by now. But it's OK for a liberal Democrat. Crazy.
And um ... I don't see how anyone can look at Obama and Kucinich and NOT conclude they are authoritarians. They want to use force to regulate almost every part of our lives. Just because you agree with someone's goals doesn't mean their methods aren't authoritarian.
Posted by: pudge on January 17, 2008 09:05 PMThat's just a few items on a long list. But I won't waste more time on Kucinich. Thankfully, he has no chance whatsoever to win.
Obama is not much different. He even recently said college education is a "right." He was asked if it is a "right" or a "privilege," and he said it is a "right." Utterly insane. If he gets nominated, Republicans will have a field day going through his "Blueprint for Change." It's practically the Communist Manifesto, and completely illogical. For example, his plan to cut costs of health care and health insurance by ... increased regulation. It boggles the mind.
Pudge, man, that's shear GENIUS!!! :)
"Cubans are all equal... and desperate!"
Wonderful! Great job, man.
Posted by: Bruce Guthrie on January 17, 2008 10:36 PMIt's been said already, but he was pronouncing his words like Randy Newman, dufus, who, in turn, sings like a Negro as you say, but that's the blues.
So, talk to Randy Newman about it, B.M., if you've got a problem with that. You shouldn't because, it's the blues, and that's the way you sing the blues, so long as you've paid your dues, unless you are Led Zeppelin, who are on another level.
Anyhoo, great job, Pudge! I truly like Randy Newman's style. (I hope you have heard the oldie "I love LA". It's hard to believe someone that talented can be that stupid at the same time. It boggles my mind, I tells ya.
This goes to show one more thing about Rock and probably most kinds of music with lyrics, excepting folk songs. The lyrics can suck a**, but if you've got a good tune, nobody cares about the lyrics. That's why, if I'm not paying close attention, I like his songs. It also explains the popularity of "Louis, Louis": Great tune is all - nobody knows the lyrics, or cares. Something about " ..we gotta go". Yeah, I gotta go too.
You add some very fun and necessary levity in the heart of this storm.
Brilliantly written and performed.
Liberals never learn from history, so they are always bound to repeat it.
Posted by: GS on January 18, 2008 07:14 PM"Dennis Kucinich wants to end the drug war and he strongly opposes the Bush Administration's authoritarian views on spying and basic civil liberties."
You are the type that are the first ones to bitch an dwhine about how the government didn't catch the 911 terrorists, yet when it asks for the same powers that are given them in drug cases, you whine about civili liberties.
The fact of the matter is that no one is taking away your right to free speech. The very fact you are able to respond on this public forum PROVES it. The media is all left wing except for a few outposts that dare to have a different opinion than liberal group think. And the liberals are even trying to squash those ones out of existence.
Look at at talk radio. Liberals long ago abandoned AM radio because it doesn't penetrate as does FM. That is why you find NPR on FM radio. Now when the conservatives picked up AM radio that liberals discarded and made it into a profitable business, the jealous liberals all cried foul and started pushing the oh so misnamed "fairness doctrine" which is really the "suppress all thought other than liberal propaganda doctrine." Which is really nothing more than the old dusty doctrines employed by MAO and STALIN.
So puhleeeze "theHim", at least make up a NEW talking point now and then. Because that old "Bush is spying on me, our free speech is going away" meme is getting really old.
Posted by: pbj on January 21, 2008 09:50 AM