The Alaska Way Viaduct replacement vote is coming up March 13. Politicians have squared off and taken sides, sometimes more than one. Various members of the print and radio media have chimed in urging a "Yes-No" vote or "No-Yes" vote on the Tunnel and Elevated Structure. The Stranger says "No and Hell No".
I'd like to be the first prominent member of the media to come out firmly in favor of a "Yes" vote for the Tunnel and a "Yes" vote for the Elevated Structure. I also support the Surface Street Alternative.
Only by investing in new infrastructure now can Seattle prepare itself for the influx Californians, illegal immigrants, East coasters, street performers, Earth Firsters, baristas, Sea otters and illegitimate offspring of NBA basketball players which will deluge the region in the next century.
Ten new lanes of surface roads, with four more on Alaskan Way will solve traffic congestion in Seattle for the next 137 years. More importantly it will create a sturdy wall of concrete and moving steel which will keep panhandlers, pamphleteers and dirty hippies from bothering me while I feed the seagulls at Ivar's on Pier 54.
Admittedly, the 12-jillion tax dollars and two-decades of construction needed to complete the structures might seem a daunting obstacle now. But the immediate and long term benefits more than offset whatever paltry inconveniences will follow.
Good dues paying union jobs will be created keeping Democratic campaign chests overflowing. Native artifacts could be unearthed necessitating a large payoff to the Tribes to shut them up while we're descecrating their forefathers' graves. New no-income housing will be created for the homeless. And maybe, just maybe, all the noise and dust and orange construction cones will scare all the liberal whack-jobs who moved up here in the past decade back to San Francisco where they belong.
So why do we need both structures you might ask? Because as we learned with our sports stadiums and as Doc Maynard always maintained; two is better than one.
If global warming hits in the next fifty years, rising sea levels will flood the Tunnel and cover Alaska Way. The Nick Licata Memorial Viaduct will be standing in Elliott Bay like an ark in a tempest.
And when China decides to nuke Seattle - using missile technology given to it by the Clinton Administrations in exchange for campaign contributions - the Greg Nickels Tunnel will still be there. West Seattle hybrid-mutants will be able to use it to raid the Aurora Avenue Technical Guild's protein pods and not have to face attack from Death Zombies prowling historic Pioneer Crater.
As ridiculous as all this might sound it isn't any more crazy than having Governor Christine Gregoire push this $1 million vote on the taxpayers in the first place. Living in a representative democracy it's always good to know your top elected official is there to make the tough choices when a crisis arises.
Isn't that why we discovered hundreds of misplaced ballots back in 2004 so Chris could make these Gutsy decisions? I wonder how many Democrats are having buyers remorse now?
Sure the non-binding advisory vote is meant to gauge the will of the Seattle voter. And amazingly, Schram-loads of money are being spent by campaign committees actually trying to win this hog-calling contest.
The plain truth is that the average Seattle voter doesn't know what the hell they want, or why, or how. Judging by their voting habits maybe it's smarter not to ask them in the first place. Either way no one is going to be happy about the outcome of the March 13 election however it turns out.
Least of all Governor Gregoire in 2008.
Posted by DonWard at March 02, 2007 05:33 PM | Email ThisIf anyone cares, I support rebuilding the Viaduct.
Posted by: ivan on March 2, 2007 05:57 PMI think that depends on how creative the Chinese are feeling on that day. If they just want to go for a population kill, sure -- airburst, and the tunnel becomes one of the most popular places in Seattle (if only by virtue of people most people everywhere else being vaporized and thus not having much say in the matter). But what if the guys in the warhead targeting department decide it would be cool to redraw the boundary of Elliott Bay, and start a betting pool on what it will look like after the smoke clears? Then you're looking at a groundburst, and the amortized value of the tunnel drops precipitously. If Christine were to fly over on a fact-finding trip to China, and come back with a signed statement that yes, it has always been their intent to go for a groundburst with a W88, I think that would go a long way toward proving that a tunnel is silly, and mitigating the anger of the pro-tunnel part of her base.
Or at least it would break the monotony of the news cycle for a day, which is what I care more about.
Posted by: TB on March 2, 2007 11:43 PM-its 327 googajillion dollars....cost overruns and the sales tax...
-its 47 years......you forgot artifacts from Seattle pioneers. Oops, Caucasians, male Caucasians..scratch that one - 46.5 yrs
Posted by: Hank on March 3, 2007 07:46 AMLeftists reading this will vote "yes" for the very reasons you state! Seriously!
Posted by: Hinton on March 3, 2007 09:05 AMme thinks that it is a ploy by the tunnel backers to convince everyone it is affordable.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003598666_viaductbills03m.html
Posted by: me on March 3, 2007 09:59 AMAlso think of all the concrete either option will require, and its massive contribution to greenhouse gases and global warming. How very, very unsound ecologically. The Great Earth-Mother Gaia must be recoiling in absolute horror at what her very own children are squabbling over, the little ingrate wretches!
No sir, Seattle must not be allowed to build a tunnel, a viaduct, or even a surface road. What Seattle needs is an earth-friendly light-rail system along the waterfront. Imagine the hordes of smiling Seattlites and Seattle tourists, whisked along from departure to destination upon these clean, green conveyances, with others frolicking upon the wide swards of Mother Earth's own green grass on either side and even between the rails, a beautiful and natural contrast to an ugly gray viaduct or the concrete horror drilled and hacked into the body of the Great Earth Mother.
Or, an even better vision, in the very same space Seattle could create a continuous belt of beautiful, safe, natural and green park with trees (native, of course, and not too tall) with nothing less than a monorail gliding above it all, and no nasty corruption buried beneath just waiting for an earthquake or failure caused by poor workmanship to reveal itself to the shocked gaze of the Seattleite and the world.
Posted by: sionnsar on March 3, 2007 10:09 AMNo normal person would vot
e for her.
With I-5 having constant lane changes, funneled into two lanes (don't forget putting a building over the top of it) and most importantly the bridges to nowhere.
Just tear down the convention center and expand I-5 like they should have done 30 years ago.
Posted by: Vince on March 3, 2007 12:25 PMThat ROCKED!
Posted by: Rey Smith on March 3, 2007 03:58 PMyou hit every 1 of my hot buttons! superb commentary! one a a few who are actually paying attention to the big pic & the mix of characters & what they are doing to us! 3 cheers again for SP, you & Stefan!
Here, here!(jimmie tips glass)
Posted by: jimmie-howya-doin on March 3, 2007 06:05 PMDoes topless dancing contribute to global warming?? Well of course, sweaty drolling patrons, dancers "pocketing" cash and not paying City B&O tax, to say nothing of exuding heat...
Posted by: Hank on March 4, 2007 05:01 PMWe could've called it the Emerald Gate Bridge.
It could've been the greatest draw/attraction for the city of all time...
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/buildingbig/wonder/structure/akashi_kaikyo.html
Posted by: Non Profit on March 4, 2007 09:41 PMPerhaps the post-Chinese nuking of Seattle could be the basis of a zombie themed video game...
Posted by: Michael on March 5, 2007 01:55 PM