January 26, 2006
Roll out the barrel
More pork barrel legislation: The Washington legislature is contemplating a bill to subsidize the renovation of luxury boxes at Key Arena. The bill is HB 3233 "Extending the extension of local taxes to fund arts, cultural and heritage institutions and programs, tourism promotion, publicly owned sports and entertainment facilities, and other civic amenities".
And we also have some beer barrel legislation: HB 3046 "Establishing the Washington beer commission"
It's tempting to ask our good friends in Olympia to subsidize the blogging industry. But the best thing they can do for us is to keep up the flow of hilarious legislation.
Posted by Stefan Sharkansky at January 26, 2006
02:21 PM | Email This
It is apparent that the Legislature is suffering from an outbreak of OVERHEATED GOVERNING GLANDS!!
In all of there excitement & glee, there GOVERNING GLANDS have become so hyperactive that some strange secretion must be eliminating whatever little functional brain matter these KLOWNS still have!!
I'm afraid there is no medication for this.
Medical Marijuana has been tried but only makes it worse!!!
The only option is a full, complete Governing Glandectomy. It's an ugly surgery from what I hear. A huge puff of HOT AIR comes out of the KLOWN when the incision is made and it smells hideous....like the recent KingCo Sewage stench!! Rehab means take away all writing devices, cell phones, laptops and Blackberry's too during the entire recovery so they won't be tempted to lapse into hyper-stupidity.
I'm all for a beer commission. And I'm glad they stipulate that the "producer" members need to be at least 21. I'm just pi$$ed that these aren't going to be elected positions.
May I direct you to the commission duties in Section 8.6:
"Engage directly or indirectly in the promotion of Washington beer, including, without limitation, the acquisition in any lawful manner and the dissemination with or without charge of beer."
If a government agency makes it their mission to disseminate beer to me without charge or limitation, then amen...
3. Everyone has their price, right?
4. Who cares about beer? I gave it up when they quit making Buckhorn and Rheinlander.
Why are taxpayers having to pay for renovations that only a few rich fatcats can use? Bwa-ha-ha........ no, seriously, if the owners of the boxes want plush carpeting and fresh paint, why don't they pay for it themselves? Or better yet, let it come out of Key Arena profi--profi--Bwa-ha-ha............. oh man, my sides are killing me.
Renovations for all or none at all! Now where's my beer.
6. I'M FOR I... IF THEY HOLD PUBLIC MEETINGS AT THE SWISS OR HARMON BREW PUP IN TACOMA!!!
7. The question we should be asking is will we get a demand for a new stadium after we fix Key Arena? In 50 years will we have all these bills paid off or will it be needed to go into the next century to see the current bills paid off. Let my great grand kids pay off the current Stadium 3 times removed.
NASCAR, Basketball, and Beer!
Lets renovate the Washington State Convention Center, solving all the problems.
NASCAR can run a best one lap road course with the convention center serving as start/finish line. The course would be one loop around I-5 and I-405 during rush hour(s), no HOV lanes allowed, no pit stops, no smoking, no cell phones, just bumper to bumper grid lock racing with everyone else.
The Sonics can reorganize with the Washington Husky Women to form a new NBA team to play in the renovated convention center, with no gender discrimination, no smoking, no scalping of tickets, and no panhandling. Perhaps they can name the team “No Seattle”.
I the spirit of cooperation and PC the convention center’s back rooms can be used to brew free “No Beer”, with, no fizz, no alcohol, no carbs, and no fat. This brew could be provided free of charge after the NASCAR tax, hotel motel tax, city of Seattle tax, Washington sales tax, road tax, gas tax (plus RTID tax), salmon tax, environment tax, basketball tax, alcohol tax, and Democrat controlled Legislature we're in the drivers seat tax are added in, I figure $10 buckets a bucket. Provided free to any homeless person registered to vote and living at King County Election Offices, after they’ve filled out at least one ballot and duplicate ballot per beer.