Today's Seattle Post-Intelligencer has an article about children who are raised by relatives other than parents:
This so-called "kinship care" is the largely unseen fallout from a confluence of social problems -- parental drug addiction, incarceration, mental illness and, more recently, military service -- that have left about 2.3 million children in the United States raised by their relatives, mainly grandparents.Military service is a "social problem"? Posted by Stefan Sharkansky at August 17, 2005 09:14 AM | Email This
Personally, my father served 20 years in the Air Force and retired before he was forty years old. He then transitioned to civilian life and worked at several careers before retiring again. My dad and mom still benefit from his Air Force retirement and health insurance. Without it they would have had a hard time raising three kids. But ask us kids about our childhood and we will tell you that we had a great time growing up and would not hesitate to go back in time and relive it all over again. We grew up under the influence of the "social problem" of military service, and we turned out pretty darn good.
Posted by: Gary on August 17, 2005 09:36 AMBack in the Great Depression era, that was a big deal to be abandoned by your mother.
I guess I just don't get it. This idea that if you expect grandparents to care for their grandkids that you are "blaming" them. It's not about blame- It's about duty. It's about family.
Family is suppose to look out for each other and take care of each other. They aren't suppose to whine that the government won't support them. My great-great-grandparents didn't get government aid- he worked- hard- as a railroad engineer, (and had to tavel to another city to do it, because he didn't have senority in the union), so I find all this complaining hard to understand.
Their family. You take care of family. That's all there is too it. I don't understand why people don't get that anymore. I seems families just fall apart, and no one want's to make the sacrifice necessary to keep them together.
Husbands aren't loyal to their wives. Wives aren't loyal to their husbands. I don't know what to do about it.
So many things have changed. Consider this complaint:
"Routinely, she hears from grandmothers faced with losing their grandchildren because they have too many kids living in too few rooms and not enough money for a larger home."
When I was growing up I shared a room with two brothers. Not one, two. If there had been more brothers I would've had to share with them too. I wouldn't have liked it, but it would simply be what had to be- because family shares, and family does what it must to take care of the family. Why don't people follow that anymore?
When I hear about kids running off to join their "fun" wayward parent, I think the old ways of shame being attached to these situations might have been a good idea. (A family friend recently shipped his daughter across country to extended family to try and get her away from a boyfriend who was involed in drugs. Her non-custodian, non-recovering aloholic mother paid for her daughter's train ticket back to Seattle and the boyfriend.) My grandfather was always told that his mother was his "sister", and when he did learn the truth, he knew that society looked on his mother as a tramp, so he never had any desire to leave his adoptive parents (biologically his grandparents) and go off with his mother.
I just don't know what to do. I try to keep my family strong, and protect them from the illness iffecting society. I teach my children to watch out for each other- But when I see so much falling apart around me- I'm afriad. I just don't know what else to do, so I keep doing what I'm doing, but I feel very nervous.
Posted by: madmartagan on August 17, 2005 09:46 AMDid this make it harder for mom and us kids? Yes. Was it unreasonable or unbearable? No.
Posted by: Gary on August 17, 2005 10:21 AMI'm calling Bart to task on what is done when women cry wolf in reporting domestic violence.
----- Original Message -----
From: Bart, Rick
To: (deleted)
Sent: Monday, August 15, 2005 9:51 AM
Subject: RE: Violence Against Woman Act
I would like to express my disgust with anyone who doesn't do their
homework before sending such an e-mail. I am the chairman of the National
Sheriff's Domestic Violence Committee and we don't play favorites when
it comes to violence! You are not winning any friends with your
e-mails.
Sheriff Rick Bart
---------------
I forwarded the following questions to Rick:
Rick,
Per your forwarded email below. Can you please outline the steps you take to determine when a woman or man is misusing the DV protection system (ie police calls, protection orders etc)?
What actions are taken against a person who is proven to be crying wolf in these circumstances?
From all of my investigations of bias against males in the family court system, the lack of checks on false DV accusations seems to a highly common thread in divorce strategies by women.
Regards
-Andy Maris
This article is an attempt to change the subject. I was raised in a dysfunctional family, and I recognize denial and excuse making when I see it. Some of the favorite myths shown to be a lie...
...single parents are just as good as married couples...no need to actually be married before you start procreating.
...drug use is a victimless crime.
...women can serve in the military just as well as men...parents are required to create and file parenting plans in case of deployment. If you don't want to be deployed, don't join the friggin' military! It's not just a program to help you pay for school, or provide medical coverage!
Word abuse like this article should be a crime.
Why do you hate our troops?
Posted by: JDB on August 17, 2005 11:16 AMOne more thing...these aren't SOCIAL PROBLEMS...they are personal pathology with social consequences.
Posted by: South County on August 17, 2005 11:18 AMWhat's worse, a paper article calling military service a "social problem", or teachers telling their young, impressionable students the same thing? How about a college professor who calls ROTC students in his class "BRAINWASHED", simply because they defend their future career!
People need to wake up; higher-ed liberals are the ones providing all of their colleagues in politics with the polished rhetoric (read: lies) and a "progressive ideology".
It's time for us to acknowledge that these people are a major problem. I can't tell you how many moderates I've heard dismiss liberalism's strangehold on college campuses by saying:
--Oh, those silly liberal professors, they're all just washed up hippies who like to hear themselves talk. They're not dangerous...
WRONG! These people are incubating a whole generation of ANTI-AMERICAN hate, right here on our own soil. Case-in-point, is anyone still even following the Ward Churchill story? Didn't think so.
Get in touch with your local College Republicans chapter to find out how you can help.
Speaking of which, why don't you ask all of your readers to join us in downtown Bellevue this Saturday!
Posted by: Patrick E. Bell on August 17, 2005 12:43 PMAs General Patton once exclaimed under fire, "You and you - panic; the rest of you come with me!"
Posted by: alphabet soup on August 17, 2005 12:44 PMSocialist liberals hate the concept of family. It defies all that they believe in...(that is complete government control and maintenance of the citizens lives.) They would rather rip children from their parents, grandparents, aunts, etc..and place them into foster care with the potential of violence, abuse and molestation rather than allow a family to remain intact!
Just watch your newspaper for the public announcments of child custody being taken from parents in this state! It's amazing! They run pages at a time of actions where the State has taken custody of hundreds - maybe thousands - of children in our state! They print it in the newspaper once or twice a year.....
Someone needs to investigate our state child protective agency and see what in the heck they are doing! It's as though they are trafficing children! How on earth can so many people in this state lose custody of their kids? Drugs aside....(and there are rehab programs that should allow parents to keep custody)...What is going on here? Where are those kids going?
Posted by: Deborah on August 17, 2005 02:49 PMThe other examples are crisis situations brought upon themselves by a family members own immaturity, selfishness, and/or stupidity.
Another piece of idiocy brought to you by people who believe that health clinics and day care centers in high schools are a good thing.
Your sexist comments remind me of someone who wants his wife barefooted, pregnant and in the kitchen and they are offensive to any female who is serving or has served in the military.
I am a female! I served 30 years in the Army and I have a daughter. I spent 5 months in the first Gulf war and 5 months on a airfield in Albania with the Apache's during the Kosovo Campaign. My daughter was NOT a social problem to anyone. There isn't any reason for children of deployed soldiers to decimate their grandparents money, it's pretty hard to spend money in a combat zone and the deployed soldiers should be sending thier money home for their kids care. The one example in that article wasn't a deployed soldier! It's a sick veteran who probably isn't working!
Posted by: sgmmac on August 17, 2005 03:31 PMSo, none of it is surprising.
Posted by: BananaLand (aka Iguana) on August 17, 2005 04:01 PMdrug/alcohol addicts
never married mothers who could not let their child/children interfer with their current "relationship" (talk about the ultimate selfishness)
And our government subsidizes both. Just like they subsidize homelessness.
Something that I find curious is that at least some Liberals realize that you get less of what you tax, ie. cigarette tax. I have yet of find a Liberal who thinks you get more of what you subsidize. I think that the inability to admit that their policies are failures is the only plausable explaination.
Posted by: JC Bob on August 17, 2005 04:38 PMDear sir/madam,
It is abundantly clear that your recent opinion regarding kinship care has a distinct agenda. The fact that the writer not only listed drug abuse, incarceration, and mental illess as social problems, but also cited military service in the same group.
Military service is a social problem? Only to those who would reap the benefits gained at the cost of our servicemen's blood while refusing to lift a finger themselves. That includes the writer of the execrable commentary to which I am responding. You have the military to thank for living in a country where you can write treasonous bovine excrement without fear of being summarily flayed alive. Not that you really care that you are biting the hand that defends you...
I submit that the real social probems this nation and region face today are instigated by socialist liberals, corrupt political hacks such as Ron Sims, inept lackies like Greg Nickels, self-described "experts" who throw away scientific method for the purpose of furthering their personal or political agendas, and birdcage liners such as the PI who gladly publish seditious propaganda such as the commentary to which I am responding.
It will be a great day when people such as the writer of the piece to which I am responding, Ron Sims, Chris Gregoire, Greg Nickels, and the Seattle PI are all booted out on their fannies. But fear not: you all can always live in Tent City. And speaking of Tent City, while we are on the subject of social problems...
Signed
Posted by: ERNurse on August 18, 2005 06:16 AM