June 27, 2005
Seattle's new nickname

Chicago is known as The City of Big Shoulders and The City that Works.

New York is The City that Never Sleeps and The Capital of the World.

San Francisco is The City that Knows How.

I haven't heard an analogous nickname for Seattle. Although yesterday's Seattle Times article about Greg Nickels' clue-free quest to replace the Viaduct with a multi-billion tunnel suggests a suitable nickname: "The City That Is Not Living In The World As It Exists"

That name would fit for a variety of reasons.

Posted by Stefan Sharkansky at June 27, 2005 10:37 AM | Email This
Comments
1. Somewhat silly, but.....The City That's "All Wet".

Posted by: Susu on June 27, 2005 11:04 AM
2. I'm torn between "The Emerald Shitty" (a Southpark reference) and "The Big Swirlie"....

Posted by: Alphabet soup on June 27, 2005 11:23 AM
3. Capital of Moonbataniya
Doublespeak Central
Lenin's Last Laugh

Posted by: Al on June 27, 2005 11:31 AM
4. The Emerald Tent. Consensusville. Woodstock. NIMBYtown. San-SimmsVille.(we only hope)
Inclusive Valley. Blue-town.

Posted by: Jimmie-howya-doin on June 27, 2005 11:32 AM
5. "Seattle-We're smarter than you are."

Posted by: South County on June 27, 2005 11:44 AM
6. "Seattle-Spending OPM**...because we can."


**Other People's Money.

Posted by: South County on June 27, 2005 11:46 AM
7. How about, "Seattle, the Armpit of the Northwest"

This suggestion is not meant to solely blame liberalism and leave conservatives off the hook regarding Seattle's declining quality of life. If anything, conservatives are more to blame because it's the money and power politics that have brought Seattle down to the status of a tenement dump surrounding a Potemkin Village Convention Center tourist trap. Liberals are kept around as scapegoats for the incompetence and corruption of powerful conservatives.

Posted by: Artie on June 27, 2005 11:50 AM
8. "Seattle- The One Party City"

"Seattle- Leave Your Rights at the Border City"

"Seattle- Choke The Red State Blue"

"Seattle- Home of The King County"

"Seattle- We'll Vote For You County"

"Seattle- Bring your money, leave your votes to us city"

"Seattle- We got Marxist Lennon and your rights"

Posted by: Son of Liberty on June 27, 2005 11:58 AM
9. Artie,

Up is down and down is up, huh? Do you know that the sky is blue, or is it the asphalt that you stare up at each day?

Conservatives are to blame, and liberals are kept around as scapegoats? Would you care to offer some examples?

When I look around, I see the fingerprints of Gary Locke, Christine Gregoire, Ron Sims, Dean Logan, Patty Murray, Maria Cantwell, and Jim McDermott all over the f-d up politics in this city. Pray tell, what incompentant powerful conservatives are controlling the strings of these puppet liberals? Or could it be that there really are none, and it's the liberals that are completely incompetant and clueless??

Posted by: Larry on June 27, 2005 12:10 PM
10. "Seattle -- Red down deep, Blue all over"

Posted by: RedState on June 27, 2005 12:10 PM
11. "The Menopausal City"

Posted by: Legast on June 27, 2005 12:12 PM
12. Seattle - Would you like to buy a vowel?

Posted by: Jamie on June 27, 2005 12:13 PM
13. Artie wrote:

"If anything, conservatives are more to blame because it's the money and power politics that have brought Seattle down to the status of a tenement dump surrounding a Potemkin Village Convention Center tourist trap. Liberals are kept around as scapegoats for the incompetence and corruption of powerful conservatives."


Artie, who are these powerful Seattle conservatives who have managed to take full control of Seattle, bringing it to its current state of Monorail/Sound Transit insanity and Ron Sims-styled incompetence, all the while making it APPEAR as if liberals are actually holding a majority in elected office?

Posted by: Paul on June 27, 2005 12:14 PM
14. Seattle--"The Jeweled Pendant Around a Donkey's Neck"

Posted by: Jimmie-howya-doin on June 27, 2005 12:30 PM
15. Artie, That's your liquor talking pal...
Let's also blame Americans for giving the swastika a bad name. Get on a 12 step program pal!

Posted by: RealMen on June 27, 2005 12:32 PM
16. how about the soul-less city????
where the men are women, the women are men, and the geese are nervous.
i have to give nods to both iquana and cal poly for my line-stealing........LOL.
and please....can someone explain to me the butch haircut that all the "women" in seattle have?

Posted by: christmasghost on June 27, 2005 12:35 PM
17. How about "Seattle, remember us? WTO, Fat Tuesday and dead voters."

Posted by: PC on June 27, 2005 12:42 PM
18. City of the Living Dead (Voter)

Posted by: Just A Guy on June 27, 2005 12:44 PM
19. Seattle--
Pierceville.
Deep in the Heart of Taxes.
Antother Blue Ribbon Commission Near the Old Mission.
(Roman ruins found here): Fiscus Abominatious.
Latitude, Longitude?: 99.98%--(any bank would "Envyville")
The Needle Run by Tweedles. Homeless Heaven.


Posted by: Jimmie-howya-doin on June 27, 2005 12:53 PM
20. "Seattle - Home of the Artie's"

I wonder if Headless is dating Artie? That sucking noise is the brains of Arie and pals going out to sea.

I can't believe you Artie, are you that dumb? Are you that liberal? Look at what you wrote, read it carefully.

Posted by: Local Dude on June 27, 2005 12:56 PM
21. Socialist Soviet of Seattle:
Governed by Party Chair Comrade Sims.
Central Politburo of the City Council.
Comrades Logan and Hunnenkins insure elections are free and open and the right people win.
The 45 year plan for transportation.

After all many cities already have the requisite statue of Lenin?

Posted by: JCM on June 27, 2005 01:03 PM
22. Artie, you rock. That Karl Rove is everywhere, isn't he?

Fear the conservatives who've ruined Seattle!!

booga, booga

Posted by: jimg on June 27, 2005 01:10 PM
23. Seattle - druggie friendly, with the world's largest needle!

Posted by: fred on June 27, 2005 01:10 PM
24. I think Peter Bagge had it right in his March 2005 cartoon in Reason Magazine:

http://www.reason.com/0503/bagge.shtml

"The Boondoggliest Town Arround!"

Posted by: amber on June 27, 2005 01:20 PM
25. Seattle: Live a little, pay ALOT!

Seattle: A parking ticket around every corner!

Seattle: Driving the entire state of Washington! (into the ground)

Seattle: We support our troops! Unless they come to any of our schools, fight terrorists, or defend freedom!

Posted by: Joe on June 27, 2005 01:29 PM
26. Artie,

I'm surprised that the intellect and sophistication of liberals could be manipulated so easily by such ignorant buffoons. Maybe the great intellect is a myth? or, perhaps, is it just the fairy tales the libs spin that would make anyone say something so poignant?

Posted by: fred on June 27, 2005 01:35 PM
27. Seattle: City of Big Watermellons
(green on the outside, red on the inside)

Posted by: Sid on June 27, 2005 01:42 PM
28. Hmm My names for Seattle. Socialist Republic of Seattle. Or Septic Tank of Washington.With Potty
Chair Ron Sims in bad nedd of good home training!

Posted by: Laurie on June 27, 2005 02:13 PM
29. Yeah Laurie!

Seattle: You'll get your good home training!

Posted by: Joe on June 27, 2005 02:16 PM
30. I misspelled need in previous post.That is what happened i guess when I was laughing so hard!

Posted by: Laurie on June 27, 2005 02:18 PM
31. Artie,
What happened dude... We are all still waiting for the names of those powerful republicans that have were able to work in the shadows behind liberal leadership to ruin Seattle!

I have to say that your post may have been the funniest I have ever seen posted here! You had to be joking, right?

Posted by: Joe on June 27, 2005 02:22 PM
32. Nah ... I'd call it:

The Tunnel of Luv City

This thing is Nickel's Tunnel of Love. He wants something that will be a testament to his largesse. And, since he seems to be growing by the day (at least is wasteline), we are talking about a lot of largesse.

Posted by: BananaLand(aka Iguana) on June 27, 2005 02:58 PM
33. The hilarious thing is to watch these idiots talk about how they are going to lobby for federal dollars; meanwhile, Nickels is out snubbing his nose at Bush, getting cities to sign on to the Kyoto treaty.

There aint gonna be no federal dollars to pay for Nickels' Tunnel of Love.

Posted by: BananaLand(aka Iguana) on June 27, 2005 02:59 PM
34. How about: The City that Rejects Republicans?

Posted by: headless lucy on June 27, 2005 03:00 PM
35. Head-lice...you finally wrote an honest post!!

True, Seattle does reject Republicans...look what that has accomplished!

Posted by: Mark D on June 27, 2005 03:13 PM
36. could you people be more pathetic?

no wonder we keep losing.

Posted by: exile on June 27, 2005 03:35 PM
37. Small Business Sanctuary.
Sounder Wallet-Grounder.
Let Them Eat Cake.
Share-Wheel's Best Deal.
Seattle--Orcas and Government Porkas.
McDermott's Hermits.

Posted by: Jimmie-howya-doin on June 27, 2005 03:36 PM
38. Seattle--Orcas and Government Porkas.

Good one!

Posted by: BananaLand(aka Iguana) on June 27, 2005 05:05 PM
39. I must be on a roll or something!I have another name to add to the pile!! The Home of Tent City!!

Posted by: Laurie on June 27, 2005 05:18 PM
40. Seattle...We assume the rest of the world knows we exist.

Posted by: Danny on June 27, 2005 05:25 PM
41. I've always just called it Seabattle, Washingsox. Has nothing to do with its problems, just sorta funny.

Posted by: pdotfu on June 27, 2005 05:51 PM
42. Seattle: Where corruption is King. (Just ask our queen).

Posted by: Miriam on June 27, 2005 06:13 PM
43. Seattle, Cascade County's Cast off!

Posted by: Jim L on June 27, 2005 06:24 PM
44. Skedaddle from Seattle

Posted by: Bill on June 27, 2005 06:32 PM
45. How about: The City that Rejects Republicans?

Hey! Good one Headlice!

(Only you misspelled "offends" ;'}

Posted by: alphabet soup on June 27, 2005 07:17 PM
46. Seattle:
The Queen's Consort.
Museum of (Business Outbound) Flight.
was: International District. now: Universal District.

Posted by: Jimmie-howya-doin on June 27, 2005 07:32 PM
47. And the orange banner is back!!!

Posted by: cc on June 27, 2005 07:35 PM
48. Seattle is the city of moonbats, misdeeds, and misbehaviors!

Posted by: sgmmac on June 27, 2005 07:56 PM
49. Sgmmac,I wonder if any of those moonbats live in tent cities?

Posted by: Laurie on June 27, 2005 08:21 PM
50. For those who asked, I blame Seattle business interests for transportation and development and planning fiasco's. Always in these regards, money is the driving impulse. And because the GOP is the "Party of Business", it's a natural conclusion to suspect powerful conservatives have their hand, as always, in the till.

I'm certain that liberal legislators and agency heads are equally incompetent in these fields, but their motives are sound - mass transit and sensible development patterns are essential. But, even if their motives for failure were graft and their paychecks, how could they call themselves liberal?

I see plenty of incompetence, but failure of mass transit designs, (and we must include development), is most likely the result of those interests who derive their income from automobile sales, financing, insuring, fueling, maintaining, advertizing, and building roads and parking garages to support cars. In short, the most powerful interests.

The top of my list is Boeing. You'd think the engineers there must have some clue why Seattle transportation planning always fails, but they never speak up. Also, their Tukwila headquarters (and many thousands of other Tukwilans) could have been served with Link LRT, but I suspect Boeing nixed Link service, just as they nixed building a more useful Sounder/Amtrak station: Boeing doesn't want to mix with the commonfolk.

Posted by: Artie on June 27, 2005 08:32 PM
51. Seattle - Vote early, vote often!

Seattle - The Tiananmen Square of the west!

Seattle - Home of the Progressive oppression.

Posted by: Deborah on June 27, 2005 08:46 PM
52. After reading Artie's thoughful response, I dare say that some professor at the UW is only wishing he had him for a few more semesters.

Is he saying the used car salesmen are to blame?
Or is the guy taking your parking money?
Could he mean the DOT when he says Road Builders?
I am befuddled

Posted by: Jim L on June 27, 2005 09:06 PM
53. Seattle - San Francisco wanna-be

Seattle - European Union outpost of the Pacific NW.

Seattle - The Red Square at UW is Tiananmen Square of the west.

Seattle - Once the center of commerce of the Pacific NW has become the center of transportation boondoogles and legitimized voter fraud for the region/ranked among the top in the this once great country.

Posted by: KS on June 27, 2005 09:21 PM
54. Seattle - city of dreams and schemes

Posted by: 4pawz on June 27, 2005 09:28 PM
55. Seattle - "Nuttier than the granolas of Portland"

Seattle - "Consider your bank account...raped"

Seattle slogan: "With a County that's King, and a fraud who is queen, it has to be Seattle."

Seattle - "Home of the Royal Flush. King County and Queen Khriztine."

Posted by: Sailor Republica on June 27, 2005 09:29 PM
56. Seattle--"Come for a good steamin' cup o' Joe." No, wait--Cup o' Jane. No, wait--Cup o' Joe & Joe. (I'll have tea, thanks.)
The Emerald City (with a poppy problem).
Seattle*--(* awaiting new name from Sims' $500k blue-ribbon study commission)
Bellevue's Big Bully Brother.
The Great Governance that Might Have Been.
Nation's Top 10 Cities to Live In and Vote in, Vote in, Vote in, Vote in...


Posted by: Jimmie-howya-doin on June 27, 2005 10:01 PM
57. I think the reason down is up and up is down for Artie is because his ass is where his head should be. See a doctor about that, Artie...

Posted by: PeggyU on June 27, 2005 10:32 PM
58. How about: Seattle, the City that looks smaller the further you get away from it" ;)

I never went to UW, nor any other high-filutin, smarter-than-you smug fests for wimp pricks, strutting jocks and debutantes. Just like high school, college is a social integration ritual judged by the high priests of genetic order.

Posted by: Artie on June 27, 2005 10:34 PM
59. Damn it, Peggy. Show some intelligence. Pointlessly ridiculing what I'm saying is more a condemnation of your own laziness, bigotry and ignorance. Kiss my ass, college grad.

Posted by: Artie on June 27, 2005 10:44 PM
60. Yup, that was pretty low! But it wasn't pointless. It was plain old rude fun - (you were just begging for it)! Humor too cheap for this state to even bother taxing it! Very thoughtful of you not to make the college grad bend to embrace you!

Posted by: PeggyU on June 27, 2005 11:59 PM
61. Hey Artie,
I remember you... In high school,you're that guy who cried alot. And the guy no one would pick for baseball or basketball. Yeah, you who stood outside the prom waiting for an imaginary date to show up. The teacher kiss-up, even the teachers didn't like ya. You use to pick on the little kids. your a punk then and a cry baby punk now.

One great thing about college is, a degree, so I can start my own business and hire and fire the likes of you.

Hey, that date ever show up? You ever stop picking your butt? Artie... I know you..

Posted by: Real Men on June 28, 2005 07:12 AM
62. JimmyHD said "small business sanctuary"
Did you mean Small Business Cemetary?

Posted by: PC on June 28, 2005 08:37 AM
63. Artie, you make some decent points, and yes a lot of the blame can be pointed at business interests in and around Seattle.

BUT you blamed Conservatives. And then you pointed to the GOP as being the party of business. While those two constituencies overlap, they are not one in the same.

Blame big business for much of the mess. I agree. Boeing complains about the business climate, packs up their toys and moves to Chicago - but it was this very same Boeing who contributed greatly - through Olympia - to the lousy business climate they complain about.

There's a lot of blame to go around for a city which USED to be a great city and worth a visit once in awhile, but conservatives are at the bottom of that list.

In my opinion, the tech boom changed (ruined) Seattle more than anything since the Gold Rush, and the area is worse off for it. And judging by the politicians and causes many of those instant millionaires support, I'd pin that blame on liberals.

Posted by: jimg on June 28, 2005 09:00 AM
64. No, PC--tounge-in-cheek; or, in Seattle, perhaps it's pierced tounge AND cheek;

Truly, I love the area; however, the sensible, efficient and honest governance of the same leaves MUCH to be desired; why is that? the natural order? roses have thorns, lobsters have pincers?

Posted by: Jimmie-howya-doin on June 28, 2005 09:54 AM
65. Seattle: Capitol of the Planet Debbie

Posted by: Stu on June 28, 2005 10:07 AM
66. Seattle: New Jersey of the West.

Seattle: Pride of the Chigago Daly's!

Seattle: Corruption is KING of the county.

Seattle: Formerly a great city.

Posted by: Cheryl on June 28, 2005 10:25 AM
67. Artie,

"I never went to UW, nor any other high-filutin, smarter-than-you smug fests for wimp pricks, strutting jocks and debutantes. Just like high school, college is a social integration ritual judged by the high priests of genetic order."

If you have never been how would you know this to be true? or is this just a bigot talking with wild generalizations? Besides the libs are the ones that are supposedly so enlightened and educated that they feel they should be the rulling class.

Maybe if you did get some formal education your vocabluary would progress beyond the gutter.

Posted by: fred on June 28, 2005 10:28 AM
68. Don't know if anyone mentioned this, a similar nickname was used by Mark Sidran when he ran for mayor back in 2001.

He called Seattle "85 scenic square miles surrounded by reality."

Posted by: JJB on June 28, 2005 11:15 AM
69. When I moved up here ~15 years ago, Seattle was at the tail end of "Emerald City" theme infatuation. If you've only watched "The Wizard of Oz" you're not getting the full story, in the movie everything is painted over a lovely green.

Not so in the Frank L. Baum novel the movie was based off of. In the book, each citizen, as well as Dorothy and her companions, upon entering the city had green goggles placed on them, whether they liked it or not. Not sure, but Toto might even have had a pair.

Those goggles/glasses were secured by a lock keyed by the guards, who wore goggles themselves. None were allowed to ever take off the goggles inside the city for their 'safety'. Only after Dorothy and Toto exposed 'the great Oz' was there 'reforms' to allow the populace to 'safely survive' without the 'protective' green glasses.

The irony of the sitution has bugged me for some time, and I'm suprised that nobody has seemed to comment much on it. The fact that the kids aren't asking these questions as well is a testament to the degeneration of the educational system and abject lack of analytical reason and enthusiasm brought on by the de-education of apathy.

Posted by: mogura on June 28, 2005 12:14 PM
70. Thank you jimG. Geez, what a sorry lot of hecklers having 'fun' here. I see computers and the internet as a remarkable advancement in education and information, but for not so great for commerce.

IMO, the Dotcom crash was inevitable because of its transportation element; gaining global market access, dotcoms required a massive increase in transportation infrastructure, (trucking, shipping, roads, ports, fuel). Most say Dotcom marketing competed unduly with traditional markets, and disrupted tax mechanisms.

Educated liberal inventors, engineers and innovators may have had the greater part in building computers and organizing the internet, but it was reckless, free market capitalists that pushed beyond sensible limits.

Still, through the years of growth in the computer and electronics fields, Seattle sprawled, as have all US metropolises, while plans for transportation infrastructure were futile road expansion or insufficient, half-baked mass transit.

No, the onus is still on transportation-related special interests: Big Business, Halliburton, Boeing, GM, Globalization, George Bush's base and thee ruling class.

Hey Peggy! Here's one for ya: Remember when George Bush was overturning furniture in the White House pretending to be looking for WMDs? Well, he really was looking for WMDs. He was looking for his stock portfolio.

Posted by: Artie on June 28, 2005 02:16 PM
71. Free market capitalists are not to blame.

Leftist Communist Scum are to blame.

Liberals do not exist.

Artie is a moron.

Posted by: Sailor Republica on June 28, 2005 02:40 PM
72. Man you rightos are jealous of the big city. I would be too if I lived in your tiny towns. You're all so cute!!!! The city is too tough for you anyway. Stay home.

Posted by: City on June 28, 2005 04:13 PM
73. At the risk of bringing the discourse back to the subject of nicknames, I would like to add a few of my own. The first three are based on the fact that, as a resident of Seattle, I feel I am being taxed to the bone--and I don't even smoke. The last three are based on the prevailing mentality around here.

I could do this for awhile. Thanks for the opportunity to vent.

Seattle is...

“The City of Empty Pockets”
“The City that Wants to be Everything, but Can’t Afford to be Anything”
“City Headed for a Federal Bailout”
“La La Liberal Land”
“Land of Tolerance, as We Define It”
“Mecca for the Brainwashed and the Unwashed”

Posted by: Beth on June 28, 2005 05:38 PM
74. Here's one that will date y'all...
"The bluest lies you've ever seen are in Seattle"

Posted by: PC on June 28, 2005 10:20 PM
75. Man you rightos are jealous of the big city. I would be too if I lived in your tiny towns. You're all so cute!!!! The city is too tough for you anyway. Stay home. -Posted by City at June 28, 2005 04:13 PM

HAH! The jokes on you pal.

We ARE staying home in droves.

We are staying home and not spending usury gas taxes on trips to Seattle.
We are staying home not paying parking in Seattle.
We are staying home not spending money buying goods in Seattle.
We are staying home not spending money supporting Seattle athletic venues.
We are staying home not spending money supporting Seattle theatrical venues.
We are staying home not spending money supporting Seattle restaurants, bars, clubs, attractions, museums and hotels.

We are staying home making damned sure Seattle is not on the receiving end of one extra penny of sales tax revenue.

You arrogant city folks better get your liberal heinies out into the market place and spend, spend, spend to make up for the tax dollars we "little town" folks refuse to grant you anylonger. It will be an interesting study to see how soon the major and lib lackey's trot out a new VISIT SEATTLE campaign.

In the meantime the shopping, restaurants, hotels, attractions are GREAT in Portland and up in BC!

Posted by: Cheryl on June 28, 2005 10:43 PM
76. *mayor

Posted by: Cheryl on June 28, 2005 10:47 PM
77. Former Councilwoman Judy Nicastro once put it, "Mayberry with skyscrapers."

Posted by: Karl Dahlquist on June 29, 2005 10:23 AM
78. Judy was living in a time warp.

I think I'd rather spend time with the people in Mayberry than the people on Capitol Hill, for example.

Posted by: Beth on June 29, 2005 02:53 PM
79. Seattle: Tax-sucking jewel of the Duwamish

Posted by: ReVOTERguy on June 29, 2005 04:23 PM
80. Seattle--Where you (hopefully) won't get a case of "Mono."

Our city council is da best.
We cater to any clown's behest.
Just scream a lot and we will listen.
The taxpayer purse we enjoy a-pizzin.

Posted by: Jimmie-howya-doin on June 30, 2005 10:45 PM
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