December 19, 2004
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
SEATTLE, Wash. -- Only three days after Gov. Dino Rossi was finally inaugurated, we have yet another strange wrinkle in Washington's bizarre gubernatorial race. More than 93 weeks after the closest election in state history, which included 27 hand recounts and 6 "paw and tail" recounts all of which declared Rossi to be the victor, the Democrats appealed unsuccessfully to the International Court in the Hague, the Council of Guardians in Teheran and the Pillsbury Bake-Off Committee. Gov. Rossi was finally inaugurated this past Sunday when the state's only remaining Democrats were out-of-town at a wife-swapping convention.
Now, a batch of newly discovered ballots may challenge the outcome of this race yet again. A paper bag, found in the trunk of a stolen car in the parking lot of the Washington Education Association headquarters in Federal Way, and containing 324 ballots, all marked in the same purple crayon for Christine Gregoire, has the potential to overturn the result of the last recount and declare Gregoire the winner -- by 2 votes.
Christine Gregoire immediately declared victory, saying that "after 34 ties, I finally have the mandate that I knew we'd come up with eventually". Predictably, extreme right-wing conservatives have dismissed the new ballots, pointing out that some were signed by "D.B. Cooper", "Fidel Castro" and "Hugh Jarss". But most of the more level-headed analysts in the state's mainstream media, led by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, are taking a wait and see approach, expressing the need to count every vote.
Democrat activist David Goldplatednudnikstein, who writes the popular Asses' Whore weblog, was elated: "I would never say anything that would make me look like a fool, and these new ballots are as perfectly legitimate as all of the other ballots that they kept finding in King County. This means that Gregoire finally wins, by like a million votes".
Posted by Stefan Sharkansky at December 19, 2004
09:30 PM | Email This
1. Republicans trample on voters' rights
with their half-witted lawsuits. Why are they afraid of counting all the votes? "People, not lawyers"? Must explain why the GOP has resorted to suing King County to prevent the county from counting ballots the GOP fears could lead to a Gregoire victory. Why didn't they sue Chelan?
The GOP has a double standard. And this story is a rather pathetic attempt at being humorous. Apparently "Stefan" lacks a funny bone.
Lighten up Joey. It's you lefties who have slightly less of a sense of humor than the average member of the former Soviet Politburo.
On the other hand, I guess it's hard to laugh when the truth hurts so much.
Maybe it hit just a wee bit too close to home? Sometimes truth hurts even when drenched in satire. It totally cracked me up, so I'm not thinking Stefan is the one with humor issues.
FYI: "Count all the votes" is idiotic. Insert the word "legal" and it's a whole different ball game...but one you'd likely lose.
4. Some things never change Joey. Always have been and always will be the same.
Yes, do lighten up, Joey. Stefan is merely doing his own clever brand of commentary on what we have all come to recognize as the number one UNwritten rule of Democrat politics here in Ukraine state: REPUBLICANS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WIN CLOSE RACES!
Btw--tonight when my family and I were at a local eating establishment in Redmond, much to our amazement, we found under the table several King County ballots with the words "Dino Rossi" written all over them in large block letters. We dutifully turned them over to the Ukraine County canvassing board, which promptly declared them Gregoire votes, explaining that since they were marked Rossi, that meant that the voters' hands had slipped while writing it and that they had really meant to vote for Gregoire.
6. Oh, and it's Democrats who trample on voters' rights. THEY are the ones who insist on cancelling out my legally cast vote with an ILLEGALLY cast one!
Too much dude...
I'm all for a good ribbing, but this would hurt my feelings if I were a D....and I'm jaded. We've got big state issues to sort out after Rossi prevails and have to work with these folks afterwards. We gotta end up healing come January or our states going to have even worse problems. We should all appeal to our best sense of our parties, not out-and-out attack our opponnets like this.
Tacky dude, tacky.
WASHINGTON STATE IS THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING FOR OUT OF STATE POLITICAL JUNKIES LIKE MYSELF.
PERHAPS THOSE SOUTHERN STATES THAT DO NOT HAVE RECOUNT LAWS WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH. I USE TO LAUGH AT THEM, BUT NO MORE. THEY KNOW THEIR WINNER ON ELECTION NIGHT. THEY DO NOT DESEND INTO A POLITICAL VERSION OF A VIETNAM QUAGMIRE.
FOR A PROGRESSIVE STATE LIKE WASHINGTON WITH A GOOD NATIONAL REPUTATION THIS IS BEGINNING TO LOOK LIKE YOUR ELECTIONS ARE RUN BY INCOMPETENT PEOPLE OR EVEN WORSE, BY CROOKS.
I REALLY HOPE THERE IS SOME VIABLE WAY OUT TO GET A CONSENSUS WINNER, EITHER CANDIDATE. OTHERWISE WASHINGTON WILL BECOME LABELED ACROSS THE NATION AS A JOKE, WHICH WOULD BE A REAL TRAGEDY. IT REALLY IS A FINE BEAUTIFUL STATE.
Totally hilarious Stefan. Some people fail to see the humor most of the world enjoys, for the most part of their lives. My Grand Mom for one (Rest her Soul.)
This is funny as hell and I love it, but then if I could laugh at 8 years of Slick Willie it proves I have a great sense of humor.
Lighten up people, Stefan is correct. You should have a governor in a few months. Maybe.
'Fraid I have to agree with Matt on this one - satire is one thing, but ad hominem insults are really unnecessary.
That hurt your feelings?... Are you kidding me? You must be one of the guys that offended by Christmas trees, rainy days and bunny rabbits. The people in this world have become FAR too sensitive (on both sides of the aisle).
12. ROFLMAO. Well done, Stefan! The best humor, most cleverly written, we've seen in this totally convoluted and otherwise sad affair. 34 ties, indeed. Purple crayons, yep. WEA parking lot, sounds correct. As for Joey saying this isn't funny, he must be taking a cue from Paul "crybaby" Berendt. Wahaaaaaaaaa. BTW, the GOP lawsuits are merely testing the legal basis for counting ballots almost FORTY+ DAYS AFTER THE ELECTION. At the very least it should tempt even more humor in the direction of Ron Sims and HIS election department for their absolute and total incompetence. They can't even run a tent city, much less a coherent transportation system, CAO without trampling property rights, or administer permit fees. And now we see what they do on elections.
"Why are they afraid of counting all the votes? "People, not lawyers"? Must explain why the GOP has resorted to suing King County to prevent the county from counting ballots the GOP fears could lead to a Gregoire victory."
Sorry Joey, something called equal protection. Other counties have completed and certified without counting their 'newly found' ballots. If King were to do so when others couldn't, THAT would disenfranchise voters.
If there is anyone to be mad at, it is the bureaucrat who originally didn't think to match these votes in a non-electronic fashion. Shark, why no mention of Vance's remark that in early day-by-day KC returns, Rossi has gained votes?
14. Yes, by all means, don't provoke them, Stefan...as if the demoncRATS were interested in coming together...some folks are just slow learners.
Your site is great, but I have to agree with some of the others, this post went a bit too far. I think the content of the parody is actually pretty accurate, but it made me think of Goldy, and you don't want to stoop to that level.
To the poor, deluded little Joey:
Republicans love to count votes--but only if they're votes. King County's endless supply of "ballots" are not votes--they're either late, or defective, or tampered with, or interpreted by biased Democrats. Those little cards or pieces of paper are not votes. See? We caught the smelly little lie in your post and in the Democrats' argument. (For further reading see the 200 Florida recount.)
But I agree that Sharkansky is not funny. However, Democrats are laughable.
17. How about this for turnabout. "Gregoire wins manual recount after the inclusion of 761 newly found ballots from Kiev County by 22 votes. However, 5 minutes before final state certification, heavily republican Adams Co. reported finding 456 new uncounted ballots in a back corner of the county election office. The canvassing board composed of 2 republicans and 1 democrat voted to count those ballots citing "count every vote you can find whenever you can find it" is the new default election law. 75% of the new ballots were for Rossi putting him over the top. Democrats cried "foul" stating a recount is to count again the votes that have already been counted, not to include new uncounted votes. Gregoire proclaimed the election a "tie" and demanded a run-off election."
Speaking of Goldy, he's put up a Rodney King style, "Can't we all just get along" post about how every vote must count.
This is ridiculous. This the kind of feel good, do it for the children statement that really appeals to Democrats. But it completely ignores the reality of this situation
Goldy has been getting a bit more tactical lately and playing the heart strings is the current Democratic line. But we all know that these votes were indeed scrutinized and rejected, just like many other rejected votes, these votes just happen to be part of the election process.
But, the problem is that we now have target bias. We all know, and especially with King County left to report, that only a certain number of votes are needed to swing the election for Gregoire. So Goldy's pleas are really just more partisan action on the other side.
This is why the Supereme Court will reject these ballots. It's completely biased to introduce ballots this far after the election and the Supreme Court will use "recount" vs. "recanvass" language and the original certification date as a line to stop including new ballots. This line is important because none of us knew the outcome of the election before election night, so the only outcome that assures us that there was no tampering or counting towards a target is to count ballots before certification. That's probably even generous in that 10,000 new absenteee ballots were discovered between election night and certification.
The only other way to settle this fairly is to have another election. I think that would be the best way simply because after the way that King County Election has spit in the face of objectivity, it would be great for the Democrats to see just how badly Washingtonions want to make sure Gregoire is NOT elected, so we can begin the Hanford-like election cleanup process.
19. Touché. So sharky strayed into a typing frenzy with some biting satire ... but it was just so funny. If we can't step back and laugh at ourselves sometimes ... we might as well laugh at our King County Elections Dept., along with the rest of the country.
Did anybody read that article in the Times yesterday (other than Stefan and Jim)? It's very clear that ballots were rejected with good reason. We should not be counting these votes that were rejected by following the guidelines and if the decision of the Pierce County judge is upheld, we won't be.
I thought the article was very humorous. I admit, I tend to underestimate the liberals' ability to be able to read something humorous and not get totally offended and self-righteous about it. But does that mean that we have to coddle them all the time? No way! Stefan, keep up the good work.
21. Stalin had a sense of humor compared to the typical liberal when the liberal is the subject of a joke or parody.
22. Pity poor folks offended by satire and sarcasm... get over it. There's no promise to get through life without being offended.
23. A bunch of sissies on here if you ask me.
24. Hilarious-both the article and the responses. Can any class of people be more inept than "election officials"? Can any class of people be more corrupt than attorneys for the offended? Oh my God!
Stefan... I really do appreciate the attention, but satire ain't your schtick. I'd stick to racially-tinged, rumor-mongering invective, if I were you.
But it's the thought that counts.
26. Gee Mr. Golstein, your quote "I would never say anything that would make me look like a fool,,," didn't last more than 24 hours until it became untrue. Got any more thigh-slappers for us? How about another million votes?
27. Having worked at the King County election office. I say the problem is one of planning and money and a complex voting process. Who is dumb enough to sign for their vote remotely or not be in the right precint? That's the price. Screw your vote up you lose it. Most the old time workers left the management at election due to non professional politics. The council and the exec office don't really value the staff. The new people barely have a clue on how to manage people and ballots. They grasp at vendor solutions that fail them and fail to have a simple election. Better elections = higher taxes. That is the only fix. or make a simpler election process. This provisional ballot stuff doesn't help an overburdened system.
You know what, Unbalanced... this is a great example of why people like you are so uninformed. You instantly believe anything printed on propaganda sites like this, without bothering to think for yourself.
For example, what I really wrote was:
As my regular readers know, I have strong opinions, and express them passionately. Thus I take considerable care to get my facts straight before presenting them as such, for fear of later being made to look the fool.
Followed a paragraph later by:
While I hope a King County election worker will correct me if I’m wrong, here is apparently what happened.
Believe it or not, when the guy from HorsesAss.org calls with a few questions, county and state officials don't necessarily drop everything and call me back. I pieced together the process as best I could from the information I had, without the benefit of the Huenneken memo. But even though I got some of the specifics wrong (and I plan to write about that later tonight) my main thesis remains unchallenged: these 723 ballots were not "rejected"; they were simply left unverified.
Now tell me... who is being more accurate and honest here... somebody like me who "hoped" a Huenneken would come forth and correct me if I was wrong, and who qualified his analysis with the caveat "apparently"...? Or somebody like you, who inexcusably repeats a quote attributed to me in an a clearly satirical piece, and presents it as a gotcha?
I make plenty of honest mistakes. You want to catch me in a real one... put a little elbow grease into it, you lazy ideologue.
29. Of course, we all know that only Republicans are ideologues; not democrats. Right, DG?
You're projecting Michele... of course there are ideologues on both sides. And I have always worn my bias on sleeve.
What I was complaining about was a lazy ideologue.
This is a hilarious Sarire and so True of Demoncrats.
King County type election manipulations sent 22 Demoncrats to prison in Texas. I was part of that prosecution Team. I know of over 300 other Demoncrats who served prison terms for this type of thing in the last 15 years in 10 other states. I suspect we will eventually see the same thing in Washington state. (I know of no Republicans accused of election fraud in those states in that time frame).
32. Sure, DG, but those who live in glass blogs shouldn't throw stones....Calling someone an ideologue (with or without the accompanying adjective) is almost always deemed a derogatory insult and usually implies that the namecaller ISN'T one, wouldn't be caught being one, and is somehow ABOVE said ideologue. Everyone knows this.
"my main thesis remains unchallenged: these 723 ballots were not "rejected"; they were simply left unverified."
Help me here...if you have a group of people trying to catch a plane, and the plane is leaving the gate at a SPECIFIC time, and most passengers make it, but a few others, through no fault of their own, don't make it. The plane will still leave. The people are still valid people(in MY story, here, they are real people) but they can not get on that plane. It's gone. It will not come back to get them. When you re-count the number of people on THAT flight, you can't count them, because THEY WERE NOT ON IT.
Even IF you found out later that these people were NOT terrorists (which, in my story, you don't know this yet) you still can't count them as passengers on that flight, and you never will be able to...they DID NOT MAKE THAT FLIGHT.
Question for you - try to answer honestly...if you are in favor of counting everyones vote (even if they were not counted in either of the first two counts)are you in favor of counting military votes that were not postmarked on time? How many thousands would you say should be counted? They were not counted as valid votes for different reasons, but lets say they were registered voters casting lawful ballots, and they left the far east prior to election day. ?????